Writings Way back in a time before podcasting and other distractions, before I had even acquired my first cat, I regularly wrote dollops of nonsense humour, then dialed up the internet, making sure to check first that no-one was using the house phone, and put them on the Internet. Some dates approximate. Recent Additions: A Selection of Modern Nonsense Verse – Free eBook by Neal O’Carroll1 May 2025 So-Called Coffee Cake Consumption Norms6 November 2024 How to Play the Banjo: Parts 1 and 229 October 2024 My First Website26 October 2024 On Chernobyl and Modified Pets23 October 2024 Collections: The Sháinne Greoige ScriptsCollected scripts of Into Your Head podcast segments from Ireland’s finest television newscaster. Her inimitable newspaper reviews as well as her bulletins for Athy Weekly World News. Collection: Bowsy’s Complete WorksThe collecting writings of Neal’s straight-talking inaminate bear Bowsy from the mid 2000s Ebook (free) – A Selection of Original Modern Nonsense Verse All Writings: A to Z E-BOOK – A Selection of Modern Nonsense Verse – Free eBook by Neal O’Carroll1 May 2025 ARTICLES: About the Nike Worm, God and That Thing on the Moon1 September 2005 All Bill Gates’ Fault13 December 2004 An Apology, Tom Petty and a Cat who Cleans Windows1 May 2005 Anyway, Back to the Anteaters1 March 2012 At Least JFK had Access to Proper Libraries31 March 2005 Basements and Your Cat13 September 2004 Bowsy’s Complete WorksSeries Biting Furry Ass for Canada1 November 2004 Breaking the law is Already Illegal1 December 2004 Carbonated Bananas and Catswinging31 March 2005 Collection: Bowsy’s Complete Works28 August 2024 Collection: The Sháinne Greoige Scripts29 August 2024 Crossing the Road on Piano9 July 2004 Dick Whittington’s Cat’s Ass8 September 2004 Dirty little secret the statisticians don’t want you to know15 January 2005 Editoral: We Need to LIsten to Pigs when they Talk about Sausages2 February 2005 Emergency Wikipedia Substitute Facts1 February 2012 Facts about Ostriches, Eskimos and Camels1 March 2012 First ever blasphemous Two Cats walk into a Bar story1 March 2012 Goldilocks and the OJ Simpson trial6 September 2004 Gorrila Shaped Clouds and the Fire Brigade26 September 2004 Hans Christian Anderson’s Great Grandchildren2 August 2004 How I came to Hate Elephants14 April 2012 How to kill two birds with one stone15 February 2005 How to Play the Banjo: Parts 1 and 229 October 2024 Hypocricy on the Bedroom Curtains21 June 2004 In which two cats walk into a bar and I admire Noah3 September 2004 In which two cats walk into a bar, but one of them is dead7 October 2004 Interpreting History through Parrots1 March 2012 Is Cloud Nine Being Downgraded?30 August 2004 It’s All Bill Gates’ Fault13 December 2004 Johnny Cash and the Big Black Things in Space (illustrated)10 November 2005 Killing the Laurel5 August 2004 Legislating for Marmalade Paws12 July 2004 Life in a Bank Vault25 June 2004 Life without a Belly Button30 December 2004 Martin Scorcese and Margarine Flies16 July 2004 Miss Piggy must not be allowed Control Space Time2 February 2005 My First Website26 October 2024 My Time in Jail5 October 2004 Neal’s Construction and Interior Design Tips1 March 2012 Octopuses are Right to Shun Milk1 April 2006 On Chernobyl and Modified Pets23 October 2024 On Elephants and Placebos31 May 2004 On Fashion and Incorrect Breakfasts15 June 2004 On Glass Ceilings and the Monkey Puzzle Blues10 September 2004 Photocopying and General Existence Tips1 March 2012 Plans for my Partial Death1 November 2005 Post Christmas Recipies26 December 2011 Problem with the Cheese1 January 2005 Reagan, Barcats and 7up 12 December 2004 Red Bull Cola Motoring Politics1 March 2012 Red Chedder cheese and the Heimlick Maneouver9 August 2004 Sardine Manufacturers have got it all wrong1 October 2004 Schizophrenia’s part in my Imaginary Friend’s Downfall1 January 2005 Self Perpetuating Moth30 May 2007 September 11th 19991 November 2005 Sir Walter Raleigh was an Asshole26 January 2005 Sitting on the Fence1 March 2012 So-Called Coffee Cake Consumption Norms6 November 2024 Some asshole is trying to invent a new type of Tsunami. Right now.1 September 2005 Stretching Yourself the Old Fashioned Way16 August 2004 Suffer not the vulgar fools who superfleursise constinents15 December 2005 Tale of deviant pigs, paraquat, Woody Allen, Leonardo de Caprio, second coming of Christ and two cats in a bar22 August 2005 Tantric Popcorn; International War Crimes Convention, the14 November 2004 Ten K Runs from the Post Office10 August 2004 The Case for Vegetarian T-Shirts31 December 2012 The Clerical Error22 December 2004 The Edgy Phase: Too soon to make fun of that fuckhead, Christopher Reeve? Okay, how about Jim Henson?1 March 2006 The Fallopian Tube of My Mind1 December 2004 The Problem with Creme Eggs1 March 2012 The Sháinne Greoige ScriptsSeries The Veteran Army Vet who looks after Veterans6 March 2005 This Site will not Stand in the way of your Cheeses and Omelettes13 January 2005 Turnips and the Aviation Industry15 January 2006 Two cats break into a matchstick factory1 March 2012 Two cats walk out of a bar in disgust. Also Banjos16 October 2004 Two Cats who got Replaced by a Clown11 October 2004 Two Cats, a Bar and a lonely Wasp1 November 2004 Two Cats, a Steam Train and a Criminal Investigation23 July 2004 Vague thing about Monkey and Crayons2 July 2004 Vomitoriums and the legal system1 March 2012 When Orangeade goes Underground4 June 2004 Why Cats can’t use Anti-perspirants, and I’m not an alcoholic20 November 2004 Why Cats Like Fish1 February 2005 Why Cats need to Shave their own Sheep18 June 2004 Why Chefs Can’t Fly and Horses get Shot11 October 2004 Why Cucumber Eaters can’t get Mortgages22 January 2012 Some dates are gueeses