What to Do When Someone Says “Look it Up”

Whenever somebody barks “Look it up” in a heated online debate, I always oblige as a matter of respect, not for them, but for the only thing that really matters: the truth.

I set down my phone, calmly stroll over to our antique bookcase and consult a set of 1960s Colliers Encyclopedia that once belonged to my father. I methodically peruse and memorise the relevant entry, replace the volume, re-traverse the drawing room, pausing only to greet our cat Bowsy II, who likes to sleep on top of my childhood bear Bowsy on top of the bookcase. Some day, I tell Bowsy II, these Encyclopedias will belong to him, since nobody else seems to want them.

However, once the prosecution realises I was talking about our real cat Bowsy II, and not Bowsy my inaminate childhood bear who serves as a cat bed, this issue becomes moot.

I then return to my phone, to recommence deliberations on the issues of the day.

More: Bowsy’s Complete Works (plus a biographical update) – Mid 2000s writings of a straight talking inaminate bear. | More writings |

First posted March 2020 on the book of faces.