For fellow podcasters.

If, like me, you receive occasional bulk e-mails requesting to be interviewed on your show, and want to make sure you come across as a professional in your response, feel free to use this form letter. You may have to tweak some details to suit your programme.

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Good morning and thank you for your request to be considered as an interviewee for a future episode of Into Your Head podcast.

Please note that all interviews for the programme are conducted in a safe public place, such as a shopping mall food court, of the guest’s choosing. The host will conduct the proceedings remotely from our home in Ireland.

To ensure that you and / or your client are a good fit for our programme and it’s listeners, please cite three episodes that have resonated with the interests of you or your client.

Please ensure your answers are no longer than one thousand two hundred words per episode and no fewer than one hundred and eighty. Hyphenation may or may not disqualify, depending on circumstances.

After reviewing your response, a decision will be made as to whether or not to invite you and / or your client to the pre interview stage. The number of stages in total will also be determined at some point, presumably. Please note we are unable and / or unwilling to respect handwritten or faxed submissions.

I assume you are aware that Into Your Head is a stream of consciousness nonsense humour monologues format featuring the host spinning rambling on-the-fly stories about cats walking into bars and nonsense made-up opinions about whether legally blind people like myself should be permitted to sit on the roof of our spouse’s car and control it like a horse with straps attached to the steering wheel in order to have a better view of the road ahead (Show 886) and other thoughts inspired by drinking three to four cans of low grade supermarket own-brand energy drink and three to five heaped teaspoons of (reasonably high quality but nonetheless instant) coffee in the hours preceding the recording session, which usually happens on a weekend in a spare bedroom with the windows closed in case neighbours come to (mistakenly) think I am mentally ill and / or a danger to their children.

You are, I trust, also aware that my podcast has never ever, not once in it’s 20+ year history of almost nine hundred episodes, had a guest or co-host of any kind and most likely never will. I have never even looked into learning or setting up the technology needed to accomodate a second voice in the recording.

Thank you again for you inquiry and I look forward to possibly having you or your client on the programme.

No time wasters, please.

Best wishes,

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Producer-Host,