Emergency Wikipedia Substitute Facts

Some emergency facts for when you cannot access Wikipedia, which we’re pretending was a real concern at time of writing, 2012.

It would be highly unusual, in their natural habitat and especially at night, for cats to arrange their eyes in straight lines along the centre of a road.
Based on the complete absence of any archaeological remains, historians believe igloos were only invented three months ago.
If you turn a transparent glass clock upside down and back to front, then make it run counter clockwise, it is rendered useless.
A human colon, laid out in a field, could distribute fertiliser and water to an acre of crops. Hence the term “colonic irrigation”.
Contrary to popular misunderstanding, chicken coups are rare, and poultry farmers almost always manage to overpower the instigator.
In theory, if you built a large enough floodlight to illuminate the dark side of the moon, it could no longer accurately be called that.
Archaeologists studying prehistoric cave drawings have observed that the symbols used for “elbow” and “arse” are practically identical.
The phrase “letting off steam” refers to the tendency of medical researchers to concentrate on the dangers of smoke inhalation, while (unfairly, some would argue) ignoring the dangers of steam.
Unlike their human counterparts, glove puppets and sock puppets are pretty much interchangeable.

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