Assorted dollops of drivel from 21 years of assorted nonsense humour writings some dating back to 2003, many from the original words-laden incanations of MatchstickCats.com and Newsburp.com – some dates approximate.
Recent Additions:
- So-Called Coffee Cake Consumption Norms
- How to Play the Banjo: Parts 1 and 2
- My First Website
- On Chernobyl and Modified Pets
- Collection: The Sháinne Greoige Scripts
Collections:
The Sháinne Greoige Scripts
Collected scripts of Into Your Head podcast segments from Ireland’s finest television newscaster. Her inimitable newspaper reviews as well as her bulletins for Athy Weekly World News.
Collection: Bowsy’s Complete Works
The collecting writings of Neal’s straight-talking inaminate bear Bowsy from the mid 2000s
Page of Fine Poetry, A
The finest nonsense verse you’ve never heard of, all on one page.
All Writings: A to Z
- A Nike worm, God and that thing on the Moon
- All Bill Gates’ Fault
- An Apology, Tom Petty and a Cat who Cleans Windows
- Anyway, Back to the Anteaters
- At Least JFK had Access to Proper Libraries
- Basements and Your Cat
- Biting Furry Ass for Canada
- Breaking the law is Already Illegal
- Carbonated Bananas and Catswinging
- Collection: Bowsy’s Complete Works
- Collection: The Sháinne Greoige Scripts
- Crossing the Road on Piano
- Dick Whittington’s Cat’s Ass
- Dirty little secret the statisticians don’t want you to know
- Editoral: We Need to LIsten to Pigs when they Talk about Sausages
- Emergency Wikipedia Substitute Facts
- Facts about Ostriches, Eskimos and Camels
- First ever blasphemous Two Cats walk into a Bar story
- Goldilocks and the OJ Simpson trial
- Gorrila Shaped Clouds and the Fire Brigade
- Hans Christian Anderson’s Great Grandchildren
- How I came to Hate Elephants
- How to kill two birds with one stone
- How to Play the Banjo: Parts 1 and 2
- Hypocricy on the Bedroom Curtains
- In which two cats walk into a bar and I admire Noah
- In which two cats walk into a bar, but one of them is dead
- Interpreting History through Parrots
- Is Cloud Nine Being Downgraded?
- It’s All Bill Gates’ Fault
- Johnny Cash and the Big Black Things in Space (illustrated)
- Killing the Laurel
- Legislating for Marmalade Paws
- Life in a Bank Vault
- Life without a Belly Button
- Martin Scorcese and Margarine Flies
- Miss Piggy must not be allowed Control Space Time
- My First Website
- My Time in Jail
- Neal’s Construction and Interior Design Tips
- Octopuses are Right to Shun Milk
- On Chernobyl and Modified Pets
- On Elephants and Placebos
- On Fashion and Incorrect Breakfasts
- On Glass Ceilings and the Monkey Puzzle Blues
- Page of Fine Poetry
- Photocopying and General Existence Tips
- Plans for my Partial Death
- Post Christmas Recipies
- Problem with the Cheese
- Reagan, Barcats and 7up
- Reconstituted Sea Water
- Red Bull Cola Motoring Politics
- Red Chedder cheese and the Heimlick Maneouver
- Sardine Manufacturers have got it all wrong
- Schizophrenia’s part in my Imaginary Friend’s Downfall
- Self Perpetuating Moth
- September 11th 1999
- Sir Walter Raleigh was an Asshole
- Sitting on the Fence
- So-Called Coffee Cake Consumption Norms
- Some asshole is trying to invent a new type of Tsunami. Right now.
- Stretching Yourself the Old Fashioned Way
- Suffer not the vulgar fools who superfleursise constinents
- Tale of deviant pigs, paraquat, Woody Allen, Leonardo de Caprio, second coming of Christ and two cats in a bar
- Tantric Popcorn; International War Crimes Convention, the
- Ten K Runs from the Post Office
- The Case for Vegetarian T-Shirts
- The Clerical Error
- The Edgy Phase: Too soon to make fun of that fuckhead, Christopher Reeve? Okay, how about Jim Henson?
- The Fallopian Tube of My Mind
- The Problem with Creme Eggs
- The Veteran Army Vet who looks after Veterans
- This Site will not Stand in the way of your Cheeses and Omelettes
- Turnips and the Aviation Industry
- Two cats break into a matchstick factory
- Two cats walk out of a bar in disgust. Also Banjos
- Two Cats who got Replaced by a Clown
- Two Cats, a Bar and a lonely Wasp
- Two Cats, a Steam Train and a Criminal Investigation
- Vague thing about Monkey and Crayons
- Vomitoriums and the legal system
- When Orangeade goes Underground
- Why Cats can’t use Anti-perspirants, and I’m not an alcoholic
- Why Cats Like Fish
- Why Cats need to Shave their own Sheep
- Why Chefs Can’t Fly and Horses get Shot
- Why Cucumber Eaters can’t get Mortgages