Red Bull Cola Motoring Politics

Published March 2012 as an Into Your Head Blog post.

As I write this (many eons ago, when you could still get Red Bar Cola without travelling to Mars), I’m just back from buying a device to retrieve a tank full of fuel from our old car, to use in the new one. A deluxe aquarium gravel-cleaner is to be my petrol-siphoning accessory of choice. I have only have to salvage €6.49 of fuel from the old car to break even. Allowing for spills of course. Although I suppose I could just prohibit those. Lateral thinking is still legal here, last I checked.

Of course, “normal” folk would probably have gone into the Halford’s next door to the pet shop and bought a petrol siphon. That’s why Hitler won. I know what you’re thinking. But since my country was never officially at war, we can hardly declare victory over the Nazis, can we? Especially when I’ve just spent a Sunday morning drinking German-made Red Bull Cola.

That’s not to say that I’d have anything against being invaded by a modern day German dictator, now that they have a fully democratic and benign government. And I know what you’re thinking there, too. But I have a vote whether you like it or not. That’s what these wars were fought for.

Freedom.