Photocopying and General Existence Tips 1 March 201223 October 2024 After several years experience in the world of clerical office work, and decades of existence as a human being, I’ve built up a lot of knowledge and tips about both photocopying and human existence. Here, for the first time in one place £ everything I know about these vital life skills.I f you point a gun at somebody to threaten them, be sure to imply that you intend to hit them over the head with it. This draws a shorter sentence than a threatened shooting. If you put a dog’s collar and lead on a cat, the dog is likely to escape. If you have five hundred blank sheets of paper, and you make two copies of each, you’ll have two thousand altogether if you count them incorrectly. Ladies: Saved-up fingernail clippings make excellent glue-on fingernails for that special occasion. If you built four tennis courts on top of each other, you’d only be able to use the top one unless you leave gaps between them. f you photocopy a blank sheet of paper, then fax the copy to somebody, it’s exactly the same as sending the original.I The letter Z is pronounced “Zed”. However, the “Z” in “Zed” is pronounced “Zee”. That ‘s what the diplomats would have you believe, anyway. If you photocopy a sheet of black paper with the brightness turned up really high, you’ll get a blank white sheet that you can use again. Contrary to popular misunderstanding, dental records rarely survive catastrophic events such as plane crashes and explosions. Always make a backup. If you make eight hundred and seventy-two copies of a blank sheet of paper, you’d better have a damn good business case for wasting all that stationery. The grass is always greener on the other side. For that reason, using a grass roller in the correct direction can make your lawn appear greener.